“Ideas pull the trigger, instinct loads the gun” - Don Marquis
Going on Instinct
The idea of being triggered has become the word of meme culture. If you feel ‘triggered’ by something you’re seen as weak or incapable of handling what life throws at you. In doing this work I’ve realized that triggers are far more than a feeling privileged people have. It’s what makes you shift as a person, moving through the layers of yourself until you are at a really low point and feeling stuck.
I always thought I had to be tough on the exterior and letting people in was the last thing I would do. The idea of vulnerability put far more fear in my veins than any race, wrestling match, or speaking event. To share my feelings would make me so vulnerable people would see right through me, would see that I’m well - human. This class has given me an opportunity to be vulnerable, no one has yet come up to me and said that I’m fake or inhuman, incapable. They’ve come around and shared stories of heartbreak, loss, and growth. Turns out we’re all not as broken as we thought.
We are always a loaded gun, when we are triggered we can launch into a harsh negative space. One that has us shooting bullets aimlessly - so we can be right, so we can feel like we have control. The true sign of control is not knowing when to shoot but knowing how to hold down the safety, holster the gun and move on - no reason to waste the bullets.
Week 2 - Core Triggers and Responses
This week was focused on defining your core triggers, your limiting belief, and defining the problem you solve for others. The biggest take away was defining the transitions or layers of your limiting belief and how you present it to the world.
The problem I solve
This week I learned that one of the best problems I solve for people is in line with my personal mission and vision with coaching “Helping people become the best version of themselves. Putting people in the best light; allowing them to shine alongside me”. That last part stuck with me; alongside me, when I coach or work with athletes - I invest my whole self. I take the journey with them. I want people to achieve their pinnacle and highest and best when they invest in working with me.
The judgment against myself and others
We choose to load the gun & pull the trigger. Just watch where you point it.
The judgments we make against ourselves were formed as a way of self-preservation, a way of false protection so that we can divert away from something momentarily difficult. It’s the false pretense you put on others so that you are right. Basically saying - If you do X, I get to be right and live within my negative belief - ‘I told you so’. My biggest walk away - So what do you get by being right?
My judgments against others:
You are incapable, you are going to leave me if I make a mistake. (Perfectionism is crippling)
You are going to disappoint me again (Mistakes and Forgiveness)
You are going to hold me back. (We can’t shine as one - Selfishness)
You will betray me. (Mistakes and Forgiveness)
Why does this all matter?
I’m learning that when I move out of my best operating space - I lose my punch, sparkle, and passion quickly. Step 1 is recognizing when you have a response (trigger), Step 2 is the hardest - knowing how to move back to your ideal state of being. When we can control our emotions, and position ourselves to be in our best state of being we can accomplish more, and come to the world from a point of value. We can be whom we are called to be
Yayoi Kusama’s You Who Are Getting Obliterated in the Dancing Swarm of Fireflies - Phoenix Art Museum, 2018
How I move down the line, my response
This response is innate, instinctual. When you move through the layers of your negative belief, you’ll hardly notice you’ve gone down another level. This was discovered through a series of ‘and then what'‘ to get to my 6th stage. The first one starts when someone or a situation goes against my core belief. This scenario is when someone goes against Core Value #1 - ‘Do what you say you’re going to do’
Response to frustration or triggers (in order):
When people don’t do what they say they will do
I take over and run with it, leaving them behind
I become scattered, restless, and impatient (because I now have more than I can handle)
I close the person or people off. (4th judgement against others)
I become lonely and isolated.
I become frustrated and angry with the whole situation. I ultimately look for others who support my decision and feelings.
Where do we go from here?
This is the beauty of this work. I am getting better at recognizing this movement. It’s a lot like flexing a muscle. The more I do it, the stronger I will get. I recognize it now, which is powerful. When I can move from a deeper layer to get myself back up top - I will have made a huge shift. This shift will allow me to fully recognize when I’m not only moving away from doing my best work but will let me move back to become my highest and best.