Know Yourself
I started this blog with the intention to share, grow, and put myself out into this world in a more vulnerable and reachable way. To share, not only my journey to finding out who I am, but working through the times in my life that formed me. I’ve shared about my weight loss, my mother's stroke, and I’m now going to share my step towards personal and business growth.
While it can be hard to admit - I, like many others, have lived in a world of comparison. As an athlete, it’s about chasing a course record, last years time, or just chasing down another athlete. This focus on dominance, control, and influence is a slippery slope. It can put you in a place years down the road where you’re left wondering where you went wrong and wondering why you’re not happy yet.
Know what you bring
This world of comparison is me or at least it was until a few months ago. Taking some time to work on myself has done two things - 1) it’s given me pause to celebrate myself and others for their accomplishments - I’ve become less selfish and more excited for my tribe 2) it’s helped me work through issues that were holding me back - feelings of resentment, the feeling of being ‘wronged’ at a young age.
You don’t just wake up one day and decide “today’s the day I’m going to become a better version of myself.” You have to make it a process, a focus, a deliberate practice. Over the past 4 months, I’ve taken time to connect with Katie and Nora A’bell. Nora has helped us both better understand who we are and what we offer. We decided to jump into her ‘Unique Contributions’ course and better understand who we are, and what we bring.
This is an 8-week program, where we dive into who we are, where we’re going, and with the help of a group - get there happy, healthy, and whole. The goal is to know what you bring as an individual, as a leader, a coach, as a husband, and as a human on this earth.
Week 1
Group settings can give you anxiety, or they can give you freedom and safety. I walked in with a goal to put down my wall and show up to people and let my words roll out without worrying who might hear my genuine self. I learned that far and away, what I’m struggling with is nothing new, and certainly not unique. We all get stuck, frustrated, and rushed through life. This group showed me I have a home from day 1. The goal and homework of Week 1 was to take a look at your Enneagram and better understand 2 things - How do you show up in an unhealthy state of being and how do you show up in growth? This will push us forward to better identify our triggers and values. Identifying Triggers and value will play a big role in helping make a decision and choose work that fulfills you and drives you - not depletes you.
Diving In
We started with the Enneagram, an in-depth personality test that groups you into 9 types. It’s a cheap $12 test and it ultimately allows you to get an initial look into who you are and better understand why you are the way you are. I scored in a very rare 3-way tie for 19 points in these 3 types: Type 5, Investigator, Type 8, Challenger, and Type 7, Enthusiast.
Without a clear winner I needed to look a little deeper. This required me to sit down with this test and ask myself what I valued and who do I find myself being the most often? Who do I see myself being, who do I want to put out to the world? Where do I feel the most comfortable sharing, loving, and growing?
All 3 personality types describe me at my best: Future-oriented, adventurous, resourceful, competitive, focused, observant, and studious. They also describe me at my worst: detached, high-strung, defiant, scattered, restless, and impatient. We move through these personalities in stress or in growth.
Getting a Grip
Friday night and Saturday morning I sat down and poured over each of my top 3 profiles. Which am I? I found myself at first averse to the negative - only to realize that my personality was great at getting stuck in the critical. Sitting down and peeling back a few layers of who I am has given me a lot of information to work with. I’m going into Wednesday’s session with a big question ‘how do I use this knowledge to move me forward?” “When will I start to see the changes from this work” “What will I uncover?”
Homework
I was able to work out a response to each paragraph of stress and growth. Realizing that while I may be a 3-way tie - I’m a Type 7 or Enthusiast most often. The excitable, spontaneous type. Here is my response: In reviewing my 3-way tie I feel as though I feel like a 5 (Investigator), lead best as an 8 (Challenger), and grow rapidly as a 7 (Enthusiast).
At My Best - In Growth
When I show up in growth, I am adventurous, future-oriented, and talkative. When I'm at my best, I give myself constraints allowing “me” time to be highly creative and prolific. In growth I am relentlessly positive and very little can keep me down for long, like water down a duck's back. When I am growing, I am doing, and actually participating in the action and not just talking about the future possibility of it. When I'm at my best I can harness my enthusiasm and learn to say 'No' with confidence that I'm not losing out - setting up a priority and being in touch with my own inner guidance. I currently find myself at Type 7- at ~ Level 5. 'unable to say 'no' to themselves and others.'
At My Worst - In Stress
I found it hard to find where I fit in stress. I feel the overextension of an 8, the internalization of thought and self-deprecation of a 5, and the desire to be in perpetual motion of a 7. To pick one was hard but the feeling of perpetual motion felt the closest to heart. If I don't have some ball to push up a hill - I fear boredom. I always have to have music, a movie, or another distraction when working. Being true to my abilities of a level 5. I'm afraid to not have a full schedule or serving everyone in my area. I feel as if I need to always be doing something to maintain relevancy and if I don't I will fade away from the edge of the light.
I’m hoping to chronicle these next 7 weeks and share the growth and results.