*Read before proceeding

This is an unposted race report from April 14th, 2019. I’m sharing it in it’s entirety. I’m sharing this on Sunday March 6, 2022, almost 3 years later. If only I would have known that this would be one of a few races leading into the Chicago Marathon.

This race was miserable. The conditions were poor, wet heavy snow over clay and “baby heads” or small boulders the size of 2 fists. Simply put, the footing was garbage - I distinctly remember that I’d be happy to finish. A little unknown story here - I had cajoled my friend Blake into racing this with me. When we arrived, I assessed my condition (injured) and the weather (miserable) and at check-in I dropped down to the 10K. I barely made it through with what would turn out to be a fractured accessory navicular and posterior tibial tendinitis.

I came back onto my blog to share another post and I found a number of posts that have gone unreleased. Whether it was a thought interrupted, I was too shy to post, or simply felt like too much of an imposter to post. Over the next couple of months I will release these to readers of my Newsletter.

Focus on the outcome and not the obstacle

The start line can be a very intimidating place, the looks, the nerves, the energy, noise. Looking behind you to see everyone else that will come behind you. At first your mind will tell you ‘you shouldn’t be up here’, ‘get in the middle - today isn’t going to be great’ , ‘if you just jog it in- no one has to know, finishing would be enough’. I used to have this paralyzing part of my brain, this part that would think of every possible ‘what-if scenario’ and excuse so that if I didn’t succeed - I could be right and have something to fall short on. Having to make an excuse for a poor performance gets old, paralyzing fear at the start line gets old, not feeling free in a race will make you lose the love for the sport.

The last 3 weeks have been a combination of frustration and a calculated look at my mental progress from years past. The Andrew of years past would have pushed through this pain and while I did numerous test runs after therapy, what I needed was rest. My leg begged for it while my mind kept saying ‘ more, more, more’. I finally gave myself the rest I needed and I was able to make it to the start line of the Rattler 25k in one piece. Not looking to go overboard I jumped into the 10k morning of the race.

Parlay the pain

I knew that at some point my race could go from good to bad with a mis-step, fall, or just he accumulation of miles. I had done a total of 24 miles in the last 3 weeks and I knew that a blow up could be in my future. In my warm up, I didn’t bring that thought into my head - the thought of ‘what if my leg hurts?' I simply went about my mile warm up, and a few hard uphill strides. I always do a full body scan as I do my warm up, what feels tight? Am I sweating enough? Do I feel loose? Are my legs poppy and fresh or stale? Stale? Go get another stride. No Pop? Go through your warm up - get your mind in sync. Breath - skip, breath, jump. No pain, nothing holding me back. What if it hurts? My strategy: Deal with the pain when it happens and problem solve.

The final moments

In the corral you can’t get much in the way of space, and you have to come in focused and ready to rip. What goes through my head is the first 400m, what flags do I need to look for? What was that about a major right hand turn? I always have sunglasses on at the start or even a hat- it’s my shield to the world for a few moments. I put them on - close my eyes and envision the race succeeding and coming across that line - arms up. Happy in exasperated breath having succeeded and fulfilling my goal on the day. I open my eyes and make sure my watch is ready to race - I take 3 very deep calming breaths during the count down and sink into position as the gun is raised. From here forward we problem solve on the fly.

Trust your fitness (even if it’s not there)

Unless you are in your very first race - the focus and pain of racing is mostly ignored until you hit a certain physical/ mental threshold. Knowing how you race best is a function of your personality - would you rather hunt or be hunted? I lead the race through 4k and I love the feeling of having people on my heels and that unrelenting push to open up my stride, push a big step up, or manage a technical down hill. When you’re not trained though - this can push you over your limit and prematurely exhaust you - if you don’t know it’s coming. I knew coming in that my mileage and workouts would not prepare me to have a technical finish in the final 3km of this race - I just didn’t have the fitness to match another athlete with comparable fitness. I knew I would have to test the group early to see if I could pull away enough to run my own race. Through the first uphill and downhill sections - I had to remind myself to breath deep when I could - focus on the technical work and breath through it. Stay calm, breath, push, breath, turn over your legs - gap if you can. I was being matched stride for stride.

A resurgence

I could feel the fatigue and lack fo fitness beginning to hit ‘soft boil’ and I knew that I was either going to have to be in a position to put in a final attack, or pull back and recover to push late in the race. My personal well was not deep enough to keep digging. At the top of the climb near 4km I shifted to neutral and let the group move on ahead. A strategy I’ve used many times in track racing to let the hungry ones take the lead and manage the work. I can sit in back, look up ahead of the course and plan my next move while recovering and consuming the best line without the pressure of holding up a pack. I can watch where one person slips, look for the bobble of a head, the rising shoulders of fatigue, listening for the heavy breathing to boil them from inside. As the pack of 3 pulled away - I knew that if I took the driest lines through the clay and mud I could save my legs from the extreme fatigue of racing and use my turnover to make up time down hill. When you get dropped initially (for me a group of 3 individuals) you can either give into fear and claim defeat or know that racing has casualties - if you are patient and choose to pull back on your own free will you can often capitalize on the cannibals ahead of you who explode. These cannibals often boil over and when you catch them - they can’t respond to a kick or a short surge - toying with an opponent who has been dropped off the back can keep you engaged in the final miles of battle.

Nice Trip

I could hear my competitors ahead of me - as they passed the back of the 25k runners - I knew they weren’t far off. I just had to stay focused and not make a mistake. Crossing the road I hear a ‘ MAKE A RIGHT!’ and I was reminded of the pre-race briefing that there was only 1 major turn. Making this near mistake startled me and filled me with tension and adrenaline. ‘BOOM - F*%K’ I exclaimed - I was suddenly in the middle of the trail staring back up the way I came. I quickly got up and grabbed my sunglasses which were some 15 feet ahead of me. I fell right on my left quad and tore my knee open. I caught my foot on a rock in the trail and ate it hard. MY time on the ground was a quick body scan ‘nothing is broken’ - ‘blood is inevitable, granite hurts’. MY knee and quad began to tense and I knew that if I just kept moving I could make up any lost time. Pain was radiating from my knee - I was 5 miles in - I knew that if I just focused on finishing and not losing any positions I could lock in a top 4 finish. I pushed the pain from my leg and knee out of my head. If I let it live in the front of my mind - it would cripple me and slow me to a walk. As I came to a clearing I saw that 2 competitors had closed in on me as I recovered from my fall. Motivation was at an all time high. I push hard but I couldn’t panic. Push, breath, push, stay calm - panic won’t serve you. “You make mistakes when you rush Simmons.”

Focus

I crested the final technical section and saw to competitors looking left, right, and all over to find the trail markers. As I looked - I was past by the early leader - ‘Wait what?’ How did I get ahead of him? Did I make . mistake? I yelled to him ‘weren’t you in the lead at 4km? - - He missed the right turn over the road and paid dearly for it - losing 90 seconds. I began to match him stride for stride down the fire road. I could see civilization returning in the distance. I heard my watch click over to the 6th mile and I knew that if I just stayed in it - I could hold his stride for the next quarter to half mile. The last thing on my mind was the pain in my legs and in my lungs. At this point - I couldn’t tell you if the wind was blowing or if it was raining. I was focused on the man directly in front of me. I knew that as soon as I began chopping my stride to keep out of his turn over - I could make a final kick. As we turned towards the noise of the finish line - I moved into 3rd. I pushed past him and there was no response - no challenge. He had spent his energy trying to make a resurgence. There is always a casualty at the front of a race, a mistake, a misjudgment.

Finish Line

My strategy to racing has served me well. Take a calm focus to the start, breathe through any of those bumps and lumps that come into your head - physically think of breathing them out of your body. When the gun goes off, breathe, control yourself - know how hard you are working. When you begin to hurt, especially if it’s too early make a conscious choice to pull off 10% of the pressure. When you make the choice to recover and pull back from a lead out or even a lead part of a group - you actually end up taking control - you are now the hunter. Breathe, hydrate, fuel - forgetting one of these 3 will foil any major plans from surfacing later in the race. Staying focused and keeping pressure on yourself to maintain your effort is crucial. Stay sharp and focused on the task at hand - breath and control yourself all the way into the finish. Your breath and focus are what will let you have a kick - you have to be conscious and aware to have the will to battle it out. If your mind has already shifted to your post race beverage you’re sure to get passed by the person who was focused on moving up to the top of the age category by passing you!

I share this race experience because it tested every faculty of my mental ability. I could have easily folded it in after the early pass, or again once I tripped and fell, or let my mind get the better of me when I caught the 3rd place male and I could have said to myself ‘ he passed me before, I can’t hold’. Instead I just tried to focus on the moment I was in. I hope anyone reading this gains insight on strategy for a future race. Stay in it in your head - it’s where the battle always plays out first.